For the Greater Good
by citigirl13
Summary: Leaders do what they think is right; even if it breaks their heart to do it.


**A/N:** I'm not entirely happy with this story, if I'm honest. But it's been running through my head ever since the 2x05 episode ended, and I really wanted to write something about what would happen after it. And I was in a bit of a dark mood too, and this seems like a realistic scenario. I think it's a pretty good story and I hope people like it.

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><p><span><strong>WARNING:<strong>** This is not a light-hearted story. Read at your own risk.**

**DISCLAIMER:**** I do NOT own **_**The 100 **_**or any of the characters; nor do I own the quote below**

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><p><span><strong>For the Greater Good<strong>

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><p>"<em>Leaders live by choice, not by accident" <em>

Mark Gorman

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><p>Finn is staring at her with stars in his eyes, and at any other time she would be dancing inside. But instead she is backing away, as if he is a wild animal.<p>

All the times she had imagined seeing Finn again... She had thought they would run into each others' arms, that they would look at each other with loving eyes, that they would crush each other in a hug. She had believed that she would be reassured when she found him. She had thought that once she was with him, she would feel safe.

She thought she would feel all the things she had with Bellamy; only more.

But right now the only thing she feels is bile creeping up her throat.

"I found you," Finn repeats. He takes a step towards her and without thinking she steps away.

He notices. "Clarke," he says, reaching a hand out to him. "It's me."

She doesn't know what to say to that, because the only thing she is thinking is that this _isn't_ Finn.

"I saved you," he says. He is still looking at her in a sort of disconnected way. Clarke almost wishes she could see what he is seeing, because this scene is anything but a romantic moment. "I _saved _you."

Her throat is so tight and she feels so sick that she is amazed that she manages to speak. "No," she manages to choke out. "You didn't save me."

Finn is blinking like her words don't make sense. "You're here," he says. He takes another step towards her, more than one, and Clarke feels genuine fear. She shouldn't feel like that with Finn. She should never want to be scared of him.

"Clarke," he says, and closes in –

The next thing she knows Bellamy has stepped in front of her. "What the fuck?" he snarls.

Over his shoulder Clarke can see Finn's face (she can't take her eyes off him). She can't really describe his expression. It's like he's in shock, except Clarke thinks he looks like a man on a knife's edge. "Move," he demands of Bellamy.

"Answer me-"

"I said _move_."

"First explain what the hell you were thinking-"

"I _found_ Clarke-"

"They're not _here-_"

Finn lifts the gun up in less than a second and points it right at Bellamy. A set of muffled screams and gasps echo through the area. "Get out of my way," Finn commands.

Clarke's breath is caught in her chest. _This can't be Finn_, she thinks. She wants to wake up at the camp fire with Bellamy again, still believing that Finn is a decent guy. She tries to get past Bellamy but he feels her and puts his hands behind him, gripping her so hard that she thinks he'll leave marks.

"Bell-" she begins.

"Don't you dare," he hisses out the corner of his mouth. He is still staring right at Finn. "What're you gonna do?" he asks Finn. "Shoot me?"

"Move," he repeats.

"No."

"_Move_."

"No."

The sound of a bullet rings out. Clarke lets out a gasp and for a second she thinks Finn has done it, he's shot Bellamy. But she realises almost instantly that he hasn't, because the bullet flies right above them. She can almost feel it in the air.

Finn lowers the gun back at Bellamy. "I need to see Clarke," he repeats. His voice is calm, and Clarke can feel her hands shaking.

Bellamy looks Finn right in the eye. "You're gonna have to shoot me."

Clarke sees Finn's expression, and she thinks he really doesn't know what to do. But far from feeling confident that he won't hurt them, she actually thinks he's likely to shoot Bellamy. Clarke feels panic swelling in her chest. _I have to do something_, she thinks wildly.

This time there is a cracking sound. Clarke jumps and she hears a few people let out cries; she can hear Octavia's little gasp. But she sees Finn's eyes roll and his legs weaken, and he drops to the floor. Clarke wonders about snipers in the trees and poison darts, but it's immediately clear who saved them. Murphy lowers the back of his gun. His face is indifferent as he stares down at Finn, and then he lifts his head at Bellamy. For the first time in perhaps forever Clarke thinks that she sees a glimmer of a smile on his face. "You're welcome."

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><p>Clarke runs her hands through her hair as she stands up. Octavia, who has been kneeling over the body of a young boy, sees her and gets up. She must read Clarke's expression correctly because she says, "All of them are dead?" Her voice is a lower whisper.<p>

Clarke nods, squeezing her eyes shut. "I can't believe this."

Octavia reaches out and touches her arm. "This wasn't your fault."

She peers at Octavia. "What are we going to do?" she whispers. "We need the Grounders to help us."

One of the Grounders approaches Clarke and she tenses ever so slightly. "You are the leader?" he asks. So far he is the only one who can speak English.

She gives a hesitating nod. "One of them, yes," she answers.

"I need to speak to the leaders of your tribe," he says stiffly.

Clarke gives another nod, not liking the way his eyes are boring holes in her. "I'll go get him," she murmurs. The Grounder people immediately demanded that Finn be restrained, and insisted that he be housed in one of their own huts. Clarke feels nervous about this. She thinks it'll be very easy for them to keep Finn if they want.

She peeks in the hut, but Finn is still unconscious. Bellamy and Murphy are talking in hushed tones. When he sees her Bellamy breaks away with a final instruction to Murphy. He approaches Clarke and they dip outside the hut.

"Well?" Clarke asks.

Bellamy gives a little sigh, his hand pinching the bridge of his nose. "Murphy says that Finn was mental from the beginning. He waited until night and then set fire to the place where they kept the food. Then he held them all hostage while he tore through the camp looking for you lot. Apparently there are the jackets that we first got in the drop ship, and he assumed..." Bellamy gives a shake of his head. "Murphy said they found out the Grounder that gave us the tip that you lot were here was a thief and did this for revenge. He said he almost got Finn away when one of the Grounders tried to escape, and then..." Clarke sees Bellamy search for the right way to say it.

"Finn went mental," finishes Clarke. She glances at the boy lying on the floor, the one that she once trusted with all her thoughts, the one she lost her virginity to.

Bellamy gives a nod.

"Finn did this?" Clarke asks, more because she's in shock. "Not Murphy?"

Bellamy shakes his head. "You saw Finn," he says in a low voice. "He was willing to shoot me so he could get to you."

Clarke shudders.

Gently Bellamy puts a hand on your shoulder. "It's okay," he says. She stares at him and he says, "I mean – he's not going to hurt you."

Briefly she closes her eyes. "One of the Grounders wants to talk to us," she says. Bellamy nods and Clarke leads him to the Grounder who is talking with Octavia. Clarke can see Bellamy hasten a little bit, clearly fearing for Octavia's safety.

"This is my brother, Bellamy," says Octavia when she sees them coming. "He and Clarke are our leaders."

By the Grounder's face he is clearly unimpressed. He stares at him with a stone face. "He killed six of our people," he says without preamble. "Six innocent people."

Bellamy glances at Clarke. "No one survived?"

Clarke gives a little shake of the head.

Bellamy looks back at the Grounder. "I'm sorry."

Octavia flinches. "You're _sorry_?" the Grounder asks. "Sorry won't bring these people back. Most of the people he killed were young boys – younger than you two. They had their whole lives ahead of them, and now their mothers have to bury them."

"We've lost people too-"

"Not by us," the Grounder points out. "And that isn't the point. One of your people attacked our village without cause. He can't be allowed to go unpunished."

"He won't be allowed a gun again," Bellamy states.

The Grounder glowers at him. "You expect us to be satisfied with that?" he demands. He looks at Clarke before focussing back at Bellamy. "We demand he be executed for his crimes. Then we may consider an alliance with you." At Clarke's look of surprise he adds, "Octavia mentioned you wanted us to help you attack Mount Weather. We have lost many people to them. There could be some interest in helping you – but we would need to be able to trust you. Executing him would be the way to prove your trust to us."

The air in Clarke's throat catches; she coughs, leaning forward.

"No way," Bellamy says immediately.

"That is our only offer," snaps the Grounder. "It is the only reason we haven't attacked you."

Bellamy doesn't say anything, but she knows that he is thinking that they have guns; they can kill them much faster before the Grounders can attack. But Clarke knows Bellamy enough to know that he won't. He can't risk angering them.

"You have until sundown to make your decision," says the Grounder. "Then we will make the decision for you." He shoots Bellamy a glower. "The only reason that I haven't taken the chance to kill any of your people is because of your sister." He nods at Octavia who manages a faint smile of thanks. "I warn you not to make me regret my decision." At that he walks away.

Octavia glances at the two of them. "What do we do?"

Bellamy looks over her shoulder to make sure they're not overheard. "We run," he says softly.

His little sister scoffs. "Are you for real? Look around you Bell. The Grounders are all around us. I know there aren't many of them, but those mothers – they're tough and they're mad. They won't back down without a fight and we _can't _kill anyone else. Look what Finn has done."

"What do you suggest we do Octavia?" demands Bellamy. "Kill Finn?"

Octavia is silent.

"We can't," insists Bellamy. "He's one of us. Right Clarke?"

There is a pounding in Clarke's ears that she can't quite get rid of. She is barely focussing on Bellamy and Octavia's argument.

"I'm not saying we kill him, I'm just saying that we can't escape-"

"I'm going to talk to Finn," interrupts Clarke.

Bellamy glances at her and she can tell he wants her to explain. But instead he simply nods. There is a sympathy in his eyes which Clarke hates, and she makes her way back to the hut.

Murphy is standing guard over Finn, who has come to. "Clarke," he says, his face bright. He makes a move to shuffle forward, but he barely manages to move an inch.

She ignores him. "We need a minute," she says to Murphy.

He shrugs and turns away. "Good luck with him princess," he mocks. Clarke feels a shiver go down her spine. She doesn't care what has happened, she will never like Murphy.

Once he is going she sits a little way from Finn. He has been placed against the far wall, his arms and legs tied together. The only weapon in the room is the gun which Clarke places by her side.

Finn strains towards her. "I'm so glad to see you," he whispers. "I've missed you so much Clarke. I knew that if I got here, I would find you. I knew they had you." He tries once again to move close to her. "Clarke, this is silly. It's me. Untie me."

She stares at him. In another time, another place, she would have said that she had missed him too. Instead she asks, "What happened to you?"

His eyebrows furrow together. "I had to find you," he states.

"We weren't with the Grounders Finn!" Her voice is high. "We were at Mount Weather!"

This doesn't seem to make sense to Finn. His face is screwed up as if he's trying to understand a hard math problem. "Why would the Grounders take you to Mount Weather?"

Clarke resists putting her hand over her eyes. "The Grounders didn't have us Finn," she repeats. He remains silent, as if he's processing it. She had planned to wait for him to speak, but she finds her mouth opening. "What did you do Finn?"

He refocuses. "What do you mean?"

"You shot those people." Clarke watches his face, but if anything it looks even more confused. "Outside Finn. Six people are dead."

"I had to."

"You _had _to?"

He nods vigorously. "I had to get you back."

_He's in shock_, she realises. It's the only explanation to the fact that he doesn't seem to understand what she's saying. She leans forward and he lifts his head, looking at her. "Finn, we weren't here. The Grounders didn't have us. All these people you hurt, they were innocent."

The word _innocent_ seems to break through. Finn looks at her and for the first time his eyes are clear. "They didn't have you?"

Clarke shakes her head.

"But-" Finn swallows. "They had your jackets."

"But they didn't have us."

The truth of it finally seems to sink it. "I killed them?" he asks, as if he's not sure.

Clarke opens her mouth, but her throat is too swollen to speak.

"Oh God." His head falls, but not before Clarke catches the expression on his face. "Oh my God. I killed them."

Clarke is unable not to touch him. She reaches over and strokes his head. "Finn," she says helplessly. The truth is she doesn't know what to say. He killed six people for no good reason. Clarke wonders whether he is suffering from post-traumatic stress disorder or another medical reason; but she still can't get past the fact that he killed them.

She wants to be the bigger person. She is trying. But when she looks at Finn all she can think is this isn't the person she loves. The boy she loves is someone that sees the good in everyone, who _believes _in the good in everyone; the boy she loves brought her art supplies, wanting to see her smile; the boy she loves broke her heart.

Or rather, she thought he broke her heart. But this boy, this person in front of her, is the one that has torn her heart into tiny little pieces. He has killed six innocent people and hey, she knows she's no saint. She has attacked people, she has killed people. But every time, there has always been a reason – a good reason. And she's struggling to convince herself there was a good reason for this.

"I killed them," he repeats. His voice is shallow and he sounds like he has a cold. He is doubling over, like the realisation has caused a physical pain. "W-why would I do that? I-" He swallows, looking back at her. "I did it for you."

Clarke feels a spasm of pain in her stomach.

"I can't – and I – I killed that Grounder," he whispers. It's as if someone else has been running his brain and now the real Finn has returned. "I just killed him, I didn't need to, I-" He shakes his head and Clarke hears a hitch in his breath. He begins to sob, his mouth open, and that kills Clarke more than anything. "I can't – I can't – how am I suppose to go on?"

She watches him for a few minutes, continuing to stroke his hair.

"It's going to be okay Finn," she says. "Close your eyes. Just close your eyes and take a few deep breaths."

Finn's breathing is still shallow, but he closes his eyes. Alright, he screws them up, but still.

"It's going to be okay Finn." She continues stroking his hair, his right hand in his hair while her left hand slowly inches towards the gun. "Everything's going to be fine. You're going to be okay."

Finn nods, eyes still closed.

Clarke slowly lifts the gun, taking her time until it is aiming at his head. "We'll get you out of here Finn." She swallows, feeling it echo back painfully. "I love you."

She feels him pause and sees his eyes open. In that millisecond she pulls the trigger on the gun.

The sound rings through the small hut, and immediately her ears feel blocked. Finn has collapsed to the ground – no, it's not Finn. It's just his body. And it's his blood that has spattered on her shirt, on her face.

There are footsteps and Bellamy is in the first one in. "Clarke, are you-" His eyes land on Finn's body, his eyes open and unseeing, and he freezes. Those brown eyes turn on her, the shock radiating from his face and body.

Murphy and Octavia are right behind him. Octavia's mouth falls open and she stares at Clarke before glancing at Bellamy, like she's looking for instruction. Murphy is stunned momentarily, but he leans against the wall of the hut. "Wow," he says in his usual tone. "Didn't see that one coming."

Clarke stands. She hides the fact that her legs are shaking and with her shirt she wipes the blood of her face. When she turns round she sees Octavia flinch. She tries not to let that hurt. "I'm going to let the Grounder know that Finn's been executed. I'll talk terms with him." She brushes past the others and steps out of the hut. She doesn't look back.

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><p>They leave the Grounder camp with a promise from the Grounder (Nyko, Clarke finds out later) that he would discuss it with other tribes and to meet back at the village in three days. Clarke feels uneasy – they could be walking into a trap – but she lets it go. They've held up their end of the bargain. Hopefully the Grounders will too.<p>

No one says anything during the evening. The group eats their stash of nuts and berries (none of them are in the mood to hunt) in silence. Bellamy offers to take the first watch. Clarke lies down on the ground and closes her eyes.

Finn's lifeless body appears before her.

She gets up and moves away from the group. The woods are a brilliant place to lose yourself, and Clarke walks past tree after tree until she arrives at a cluster of trees before a slope leading downward. She sits down just before the ground drops away, bringing her legs against her chest.

The darkness curls round her like a blanket, like a new lifestyle. She doesn't know how long she sits there for – could only be minutes, but it feels like hours. Eventually she hears the sound of footsteps. She doesn't move. She knows who it is without having to look. She feels the air shift round her as he sits beside her.

She stands and walks to the edge of the slope. Restlessly she turns round. He stands back up, his body opposite her. She can't see his face but she can feel his breath on her.

She opens her mouth and cries. The first sob is a scream.

His arms come round her, pulling her against him. She moves her face into his shirt. He places his head on top of hers. She is almost completely enveloped in him, and she lets him take care of her. She lets him be the only thing in the world for her, because at that moment that's what she needs. At first it feels like breathing hurts, but as time passes her chest doesn't heave as badly and her throat, though aching, stops making painful noises. She breathes Bellamy in and lets him sooth her.

She knows that the pain has just been pushed at bay for this moment. She knows that it's wrong. She knows she deserves to feel this pain. And she knows that this pain will come back.

But right now she breathes Bellamy in.

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><p>When they get back to camp Abby immediately approaches Clarke. "Where have you been?" she asks. She grips her shoulders, her eyes wide. Clarke has a flash of when she was little and she went into her mother's medical bag. Her mother's eyes were completely focussed on her, and when she yelled Clarke had to work to keep from crying. Her mother is, at least, twice as mad as she was back then. Yet she feels as if she is looking at her through a fogged glass, the sound muted with it too.<p>

Back then she thought her mother was everything. Now she knows that even parents can't protect you from pain, even the self-inflicted kind.

She doesn't answer. She pulls out of her mother's grasp and begins to walk towards the Ark.

"Clarke-" she hears her mother say before she hears a scuffle. Despite herself she looks back and sees Bellamy with his hand on her arm. Clarke sees Abby shoot Bellamy a glare. "How dare – let go of-"

Bellamy yanks Abby towards him; his face gritted so tight it looks ugly, Clarke hears him hiss, "She's has been through a lot. She's seen some things that no one should ever have to see."

Abby regards him. "Then maybe she and you should have listened to me and stayed-"

"Leave Clarke alone!" His words are loud enough to attract the attention of the surrounding people. Heads lift up like blades of grass, swinging in the direction of Bellamy and Abby. "She doesn't need you in her face right now."

"I am chancellor-"

"Clarke?" It's Raven who hobbles out of the Ark, oblivious to the exchange between Abby and Bellamy. "Good to see you're still in one piece," she jokes. Her bright eyes look behind the blonde. "Did you find Finn?"

Clarke feels the bile in her stomach churning. A flash of Finn's unseeing face goes past her eyes.

"Raven," she gasps out.

Somehow Bellamy has appeared right in beside her. There's a hand on her shoulder, and he squeezes it minutely. "Finn and Murphy got separated. We heard him screaming, but it was too late."

Her smile is fixed on her face, like it's in a different time zone to her eyes. Clarke can see they realise the horror of what Bellamy is saying. "Where's Finn?" Her voice is determinedly cheerful, but now her face is flickering between Clarke and Bellamy.

Gently Bellamy reaches out and puts a hand on her shoulder. "Finn's dead Raven." Clarke almost feels out of it as she sees Bellamy, his eyes soft, lean closer to Raven. "He was killed. We don't know by who."

He doesn't look at Clarke when he says this.

"He's dead?" Raven looks to Clarke but she looks away. She can't bear to see Raven's face crumble, to hear her crying beginning to fill the camp. She reaches out towards Clarke, and the girl is unsure whether she is going to hug her, but Bellamy tactfully moves in front so Raven falls into his arms.

"Clarke." She turns round to be faced with her mother. This time her face is gentle. "I'm so sorry. I know you were close to him."

Abby takes a step closer but Clarke moves away. A look of hurt flashes across her face. "Just leave me alone," she snaps, and this time she runs away.

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><p>A few hours later she is once again found by Bellamy. She has been sitting at the place Raven helped them escape, hidden out of sight.<p>

"Here," he says. He hands her a cup of something. "Monroe's been on bed rest, so she's been trying to imitate Monty's moonshine." He tilts the cup down his throat. "It's not too bad, surprisingly."

Clarke drinks it down too. It burns right down her throat, and she coughs. "Not as smooth."

The two of them look out past the fence, into the woods. Clarke isn't sure, but she thinks she can feel Bellamy's finger against hers. It's the tiniest touch, but Clarke feels a shot of electricity run through her body.

"Why did you lie to Raven?"

Bellamy keeps his face straight ahead, taking another sip. "She doesn't need to know what happened."

"I don't need protecting."

Bellamy lets out a little snort of laughter. It feels wrong and yet Clarke feels better. "I know _that_ princess. I wasn't protecting you in particular. I was protecting Finn too.

"No one needs to know what happened. I don't just mean how he died either. No one needs to know what he did to those Grounders. I talked to O and Murphy last night. They both agreed to stick to the story I gave to Raven. I don't think either of them will tell."

Clarke looks at Bellamy and nods. "Thank you."

After a few beats of silence he says, "I need to ask you..." He glances at her, and then seems to decide that it's better not to look at her. "Why did you kill him Clarke? We could have got him out."

She takes another sip of the moonshine. The fire goes down her throat and burns in her belly. It gives her strength. "I know," she says. "We could have done, though we probably would have been injured doing it, and hurt a lot of people. But that's not why I killed him.

"You didn't seem him, when he realised what he had done. He was in pieces. He couldn't believe it. He – he couldn't deal with it. He would never have been able to forgive himself. He wasn't like you and me. He couldn't do the things that we can and live with them. I-" She swallows, and tries to sooth herself by drinking the moonshine down.

That's not entirely the truth. Yes, Finn would never have been able to deal with what he had done. She believes that he would have carried the guilt around with him, and eventually not have been able to take it anymore. But there's another reason too.

He had been about to shoot Bellamy, and Clarke can honestly say she's not sure whether he would have done. And that is what scared her the most. Because if Finn had been about to turn on Bellamy, were any of them safe? He had been unhinged. Clarke wasn't going to let anyone else get hurt by him.

"'Leaders do what they think is right,'" she says quietly, echoing Bellamy's words from what seems so long ago. "I loved Finn. And the girl that he had loved probably would have tried to save him. But I'm not that girl anymore. I can't just think about one person. I have to think about everyone. And Finn wasn't safe. God Bellamy, he was aiming a gun at you. I couldn't take the chance that he would hurt someone else. Not for me."

She doesn't dare look at Bellamy. She fears that he will walk away, disgusted. But he stays. He stays, not saying a word.

"Do you hate me?"

Bellamy glances at her. She is prepared for him to say yes, to call her a hypocrite. "No," he says. "I don't hate you Clarke.

"I don't think what you did was right, not necessarily. But I understand why you did it." He reaches over and puts a hand on her knee. "You did it to keep the rest of us safe. And you did it so we would get the Grounders to help us get our people back. You did it for the greater good."

Clarke gives him a watery smile. "Then why do I feel so bad?"

"Because you're a good person." He wraps his arm round her this time, pulling her towards him into a hug. "You'll always feel guilty about it. But you'll survive this, and you'll get our people out of Mount Weather. That's why you're a leader."

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><p><strong>Hours to make. Seconds to comment.<strong>

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